Ok kids, this is the skit I was telling you all about. There are a few things I have to divulge first as the humor will be lost without these few facts.
The 2 coolest staff members are the camp director, Ernie, and the program director, Jeff. Ernie's a cool guy with a huge tolerance for kids, and a very warped sense of humor, which I like in a person. Jeff is a little person who cruises all over camp in his motorized wheelchair. Though Jeff is small in stature, he's a giant amoung men. When you read the skit, keep these 2 people in mind.
Back in the 70's, when I was a kid, there were a few records put out that sounded like a news report with certain parts being snippets of popular songs. I think the most famous one was a record called "Mr. Jaws". This skit is based on that principal.
The Spirit of Camp Augustine
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your action news reporter, Scoopy Tickledpink, bringing you this late breaking news flash. There have been several reports that a ghost has been sighted here at Camp Augustine.
According to my resources, this camp spirit has been found in almost every nook and cranny of the property. With me now, is Officer Buford Nosenugget.
Officer Nosenugget, can you tell me what witnesses say this spirit looks like?
Like a rhinestone cowboy
And what should our viewers look for when walking through camp?
Knights in white satin
Thank you Officer Nosenugget. I have the pleasure to interview two of the witnesses of this apperition. My first guest is Rollie Noodlepicker. Can you tell me what you were doing at the time you saw the ghost?
Splish splash, I was taking a bath
And when was this?
Thank you Mr. Noodlepicker. Next with us is one of our local campers, Freddie Farfrompukin. I understand you actually heard the voice of this spirit, can you tell us what it said to you?
Let's do the twist
And what did this voice sound like?
It is the sound of silence
Thank you, Freddie. Locals have brought in experts from different areas to try and find more information on this spector.
This here is world reknown paranormal expert, Dr. Nathaniel Jeffenernie. According to your investigation, when is this ghost most active?
Those summer nights
And what would you suggest people do should they encounter the ghost?
Run, run, run, runaway
Thank you Dr. Jeffenernie. With us now is the great ghost hunter, Hans Hakkenlugie. Sir, can you tell us where this spirit was first sighted?
In the sweet, by and by
And did you see where it was going?
Leaving on a jet plane
Hans Hakkenlugie, ladies and gentlemen. I'd now like to introduce Inspector Bobby Jo Mamma, detective 1st class with the FBIDS, or Federal Beareau of Incredibly Dumb Skits. I hear you've been working this case since the beginning. Has the camp's director made any comments about the ghostly activity here at camp?
He said, "Hey you, get off of my cloud
And what about the other staff members, what have they had to say?
We're not gonna to take it. No, we ain't gonna take it. We're not gonna take it, anymore.
Thank you, Detective. Finally, we have psychic to the stars, Corky FrogRocket, who has spent the afternoon contacting the camp spirit.
Corky, have you learned any facts of the spirit's former life?
She said, "I don't like spiders and snakes
Interesting, is there any other information on our ghost?
She thinks my wheelchair's sexy (we added that one for Jeff)
There you have it, folks. And remember to be on the lookout for the spirit of Camp Augustine.