Almost Thanksgiving

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Turkey, stuffing, and the whole nine yards. And who's cooking it all? Me. Just me. Why do I do this to myself?????

It's not even Thanksgiving yet, and already I've made a batch of homemade bread dough that became dinner rolls and cinnamon rolls. Then I made 2 pecan pies and a cherry pie. Ironically, I'm not real partial to pie. LOL

Tomorrow morning, I'll get up early so I can properly wrestle with a dead bird that's bigger than I am, hold him down in the sink so he can get a final bath, then slather him up in cooking oil. Whoo hoo, don't that sound fun? Then I'm going to shove him into a plastic bag and lock him in the oven for the rest of the day. LOL

From there, I'll get out a big knife and cut up a bunch of helpless vegetables. I'll arrange their poor bodies onto a plate in an intricate pattern of squishy to crunchy. Then it's on to the industrial strength can opener so the beans and the corn can be freed from their tin tombs, only to be drowned in mushroom soup and boiled over an open flame.

I'll skin a couple pounds of potatoes, chop them up, and dump them in a pot of water that will eventually boil so hard that the burner will hiss with steam. The aromas from the kitchen will bring in stragglers who can be sent fleeing with the words, "I could use some help".

Once the bird is sufficiently toasted, I'll try to pour some of the drippings into a pan in order to make gravy. I'll end up pouring more on me than in the pan, and I'll use some colorful language to proclaim the situation.

I'll whisk the gravy like a mad woman, cursing every lump that finds its way to the top. I'll slap someone's hands for getting into the food before everything's ready, and I'll notice I missed several lumps in my gravy.

Finally, I'll get out the good china, set everything out on the table, and call my family in for dinner. I'll watch their faces light up with the sight of such an incredible meal, and beam as they mention how good it all smells.

We'll take hands and thank God for allowing us to have such a bountiful meal and for all that's He's given us. Then, I'll sit back and watch my loving family turn into a bunch of vultures and pray that I don't get hit with a spoon full of food before I can eat.